An Itemized List of Everything in the VMAs Swag Bag

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Photo: MTV

Awards show goody bags are notoriously outrageous. They include absurdly expensive gifts that can’t possibly be universal enough to apply to every single guest, presenter, and celeb that attends the show. Still, they persist.

With confirmed guests and presenters including Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Beyoncé, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande, Future, and even the favorites from the U.S. Olympic Team, MTV had the daunting task of creating a diverse swag bag.

Let’s see how it did:

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Bose QuietComfort 35 wireless headphones, $350

Bose QuietComfort 35 wireless headphones will keep out all sounds, except for your music.

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Crane & Co. engraved correspondence cards, $120

Because every fancy person needs monogrammed stationery.

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Crush by Rihanna, $60

Crush by Rihanna’s woody notes with red fruits and pink musks make the perfect feminine scent – we bet she’ll wear it the night of the show!

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Dooney & Bourke Large Roxy Bag, $368

This can be unisex, we suppose.

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Indochino made-to-measure suit, $800

The perfect tailored suit for the next red carpet appearance.

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JW Marriott Essex House New York, $772

Guests will receive a certificate for a complimentary two night stay in one of the deluxe accommodations at the JW Marriott Essex House New York, inclusive of JW Executive Lounge access with a daily breakfast buffet and evening hors d’oeuvres.

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Kinross Pure Cashmere Scarf, $178

Yet another unisex item!

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Langham Place New York, $700

Guests will receive a certificate for a one-night stay plus a 60-minute spa treatment.

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Marc Jacobs, $125

In celebration of the Resort collection, Marc Jacobs Highlights the iconic MTV logo on an exclusive tote and a tee. The latest from Marc Jacobs Beauty (Velvet Noir Major Volume Mascara) is also featured.

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MCM sunglasses by Marchon Eyewear, $295

Designer eyewear to the stars.

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Nobu Hotel Miami Beach $600

Chef Nobu teamed up with Robert De Niro and Hollywood producer Meir Teper for the creation of the brand new Nobu Hotel Miami Beach. Nobu Hotel Miami Beach’s getaway features a two-night stay in the hotel’s deluxe room, valid for one year from November 1.

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Perpetual Shade, $50

Inspired by cultural icon MTV, Perpetual Shade Luxury Sleep Masks designed a custom edition mask in tribute to the origins of music video culture.

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Scuf Gaming, $260

Custom designed 2016 MTV VMA Infinity 4PS controllers for Playstation 4 are hand crafted by technicians at the US Scuf Gaming headquarters. Also included are high-end accessory packs containing a protection case, charging cable, precision thumbsticks, ring and lock kit, GamerGrip and drawstring bag.

Rosalie Bay Resort in Dominica, ~$800

Guests will receive two nights in an oceanfront suite, with a complimentary massage each day.

Total: $5,478. We wonder what Kanye will think.