Bride Furious After Friend Says She Can’t Afford to Go on Pricey Bachelorette Party Trip

"It would damage me financially for a long time to come," the friend wrote to the Washington Post 'Miss Manners' column, seeking advice on the situation

A bride is fuming at her friend for bailing on her bachelorette party trip because she can't afford the costly travel.

The friend explained her dilemma in a letter to the "Miss Manners" column, published by The Washington Post on Saturday, as she sought advice for how to navigate the uncomfortable conflict with the bride.

"A friend of mine is getting married and I’m over the moon for her. She’s been planning an extravagant overseas wedding for almost three years now," she began her note, before detailing how an invite to the bride's bachelorette celebration has since driven a wedge in their friendship.

"Five months ago, she asked me to come to the bachelorette party. I was happy to contribute and attend, but I wasn’t clued in as to how much the event would cost until two weeks ago," she explained. "I was surprised when I got my portion of the bill and it was going to be in the triple digits!"

Related: Celeb Event Planner Shares Advice for Planning the Best Bachelorette Party: 'Toast . . . Don't Roast the Bride'

She said she spent some time trying to figure out a way to make the trip possible — even considering a loan — before she finally broke the news to the bride that she simply can't afford to come along on the trip. "It would damage me financially for a long time to come," she noted.

Adding another layer to the situation, the friend is also harboring hurt feelings because she was not asked to be a bridesmaid despite being "really close" with the bride.

"I watched post after post of less-close friends receiving pretty baskets and invites to participate in the wedding," she recalled, adding, "I kept my disappointment hidden, but it did hurt, because I thought we were close."

As she soon discovered, her decision to skip the bachelorette trip did not go down well with the bride — and has had an unexpected ripple effect.

"She’s now very angry at me, and the bridal party had to cancel their original plans for the bachelorette party," she explained. "They couldn’t offset my portion of the costs, so they had to choose a cheaper venue."

The friend said she feels "terrible" and is now considering skipping the wedding. "I don’t know if it’s best to attend a wedding where everyone is angry with me," she continued. "But it’s gotten me wondering: What’s the etiquette here? Should this have been expected of me as a guest, and not part of the wedding party?"

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Miss Manners had a strong stance on the advice seeker's sticky situation. "Miss Manners hates to be the one to tell you, but this bride is no friend," the columnist wrote. "She has demonstrated that she does not consider you among her intimates, only worthy of making financial contributions. And when those could not be counted on, she turned on you. This is not friendship."

As for attending the wedding, Miss Manners advised against it — particularly as it's a destination event. "You mentioned that it is extravagant and overseas, two things that would lead Miss Manners to believe that the monetary extortion is far from over. She would advise you to decline politely," the columnist said.

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