How to Deal When You’re Having a Bad Skin Day

Anna Borges
·8 min read

CSA-Printstock/Getty Images

We’ve all had those days. You wake up, look in the mirror, and the face that greets you makes you want to crawl straight back into bed. Whether it’s a sudden breakout, eczema flare-up, dryness, or any number of ways your skin can bug out on you, it can be a hit to your confidence and mood—maybe even more than you realize.

“A bad skin day may seem pretty frivolous, but in my experience with clients, it can heavily impact someone’s quality of life,” Charryse Johnson, PhD, LCMHC, tells SELF. As a therapist who helps people work through body image issues, Johnson says she’s seen firsthand how much feeling crappy about your complexion can mess with your overall well-being, self-esteem, and even relationships (it’s really tempting to withdraw when you’re dealing with skin struggles).

So how do you keep a bad skin day from ruining…everything? According to the experts we spoke with, you can’t go wrong with a mix of preventive measures and day-of strategies. Here’s what they recommend:

1. Don’t start your morning in front of the mirror.

If you’re used to your skin acting up, you might automatically check out your reflection when you wake up. Y’know, just to see what you’re dealing with that day. But Dr. Johnson recommends breaking that habit to ease the sting of bad skin days overall. Instead of making a beeline to the bathroom to take the lay of the land, she suggests a gratitude practice.

“Start your day by being thankful—focus on what's going well, what you're looking forward to, and what you appreciate about yourself and your life,” Dr. Johnson says. Before even getting out of bed, try listing three things that fit the bill, either in your head, an app on your phone, or even a dedicated gratitude journal, she suggests.

You could also try a few minutes of meditation, reading something uplifting, or doing some light stretching to set a chill tone. Beginning a potentially shitty skin day on a positive note can help you approach the rest of your morning with a more balanced mindset—leaving you better equipped to handle the negative emotions awaiting you at the mirror, Dr. Johnson says.

2. Stick pick-me-ups around your reflection.

Speaking of mirrors, you don’t have to steer clear altogether. Face time—literally—is pretty inevitable. But you can find ways to make the experience less contentious overall, even when you and your complexion aren’t on the best terms. Both the experts we spoke with recommended writing supportive messages to yourself, like positive affirmations, quotes, lyrics, or some other pick-me-up that speaks to you.

Don’t know what to write? Jot down all the compliments. “I'm a huge proponent of reminding yourself that you have strengths and talents and qualities that have nothing to do with your skin's appearance,” Dr. Johnson says. If it makes you feel better, write it down and stick it where your skin battles usually go down, like your bathroom cabinet or the compact in your purse.

If you struggle to gas yourself up, that’s okay. You can go with something more neutral as well. Think, Everyone has imperfections or Focus on what you can control. Or hey, the next tip would make for an excellent sticky note reminder too.

3. Repeat after us: Other people don’t care that much.

But in a good way! “When my clients worry about what other people think of their skin, I always remind them that people generally don’t think about us as often as we think they do,” Tammy Fletcher, PhD, LMFT, a therapist who specializes in skin-picking disorders, tells SELF. “They're usually wrapped up in their own thoughts and insecurities, and they may even be worrying about what you think about them.”

Before heading out for the day, try taking a moment for a few deep breaths and repeat some version of, “People are more focused on themselves than on my skin.” It might seem small, but Dr. Fletcher says these mindfulness pauses ahead of social interactions can help you spend less time thinking Oh my God, they’re staring at my huge zit right now in the moment.

4. Let your feelings out.

You can acknowledge it: “A bad skin day sucks—there's no spin I can put on it to make it not suck,” Dr. Fletcher says. And what’s more, you can (and should) embrace the suckiness if that feels better to you, she explains: “We don’t have to say, Oh, it’s beautiful, it’s fine. No one wants to deal with a bad skin day.”

You might lament out loud to yourself in the mirror, but Dr. Fletcher encourages sharing your troubles with someone else too. If you have a therapist, try dedicating some air time to your acne or eczema woes in your next session. You could also vent to a peer who’s experienced something similar, since you probably won’t have to look far to find someone who has been personally victimized by a bad skin day, according to Dr. Fletcher and Dr. Johnson.

5. Remind yourself what actual skin looks like.

With how pervasive airbrushing filters and full-on face-tuning are these days, it can be easy to forget that your social media feed doesn’t always reflect reality. “Skin is bumpy and has all kinds of different colors and is very imperfect and changes from day to day,” Dr. Fletcher says. “But that’s not what we see reflected on our screens.”

Being mindful of your media consumption is a good place to start. That might mean following more true-to-life accounts on TikTok or reminding yourself that your favorite Bridgerton characters have a full makeup team behind them. (To see a range of authentic complexions, check out SELF’s Group Shot series, which highlights everyday people without filters or makeup.)

6. Maintain a consistent skin care routine.

Both Dr. Fletcher and Dr. Johnson emphasized the importance of showing your skin some love on bad skin days—especially considering how many of us are drawn to pop, pluck, pick, or otherwise punish our faces when they misbehave. Dr. Fletcher notes that taking a few minutes each day to care for your skin can serve as a grounding ritual, offering a moment of calm, while Dr. Johnson highlights that self-care practices, including skin care, are acts of kindness towards yourself, which can boost your confidence and overall mood.

Keep in mind that your routine doesn’t have to be elaborate or even focused on “improving” your complexion—the TLC despite how you feel about your face is the point. But because everyone’s needs are different, make sure your regimen suits your skin in the long run. (SELF’s comprehensive guide to skin care can help you there.)

The same goes for other types of self-care, by the way—getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, physical activity. “Not only can these have a positive effect on your mental health, but they are typically good for your skin as well,” Dr. Fletcher says, which is what I like to call a win-win.

7. Try not to hide from the world.

We all have days when we don’t want to be witnessed by another human—and that’s fine in moderation. But as a general rule, Dr. Johnson recommends against letting your skin dictate your calendar. While forgoing social interaction because of a big zit might feel like a relief in the moment, it’s not a great long-term strategy. “Isolating can become a huge avoidance habit that increases the anxiety and the insecurity, which can make it more difficult for you to get back out there,” she explains.

Instead, she suggests following through on any plans you’re tempted to cancel for skin-related reasons. You can give yourself permission to leave early if you don’t have a good time, but often you’ll feel better once you’re out. “Doing things we want to avoid is how we build resilience,” Dr. Johnson says. “There's something very powerful in proving to yourself that you deserve to show up in life, even on a bad skin day.”

8. Seek out the support you need.

If your skin is causing more than a few bad days here and there, don’t try to grin and bear it. Depending on your situation, there are a number of professionals you could tag in. You might loop in a dermatologist to help get a chronic condition under control; a therapist who specializes in body image, anxiety, and/or depression to help you navigate the emotional impact; or your primary care doctor, who can identify potential underlying causes of your skin struggles (high stress levels, for example, or hormone disorders like PCOS).

Whatever you’re facing, finding the right support can make a major difference in managing both your skin and mental health. And given how intertwined the two are, that means fewer bad days overall.

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Originally Appeared on SELF