Amid Cancer Diagnosis, Kate Middleton Chose to Center Her Kids & Their Privacy

One mom relates to what Princess Kate might be going through navigating being both a parent and a patient at the same time.

Fact checked by Sarah Scott

After weeks of speculation about her health (and whereabouts), we now know what's been going on with Catherine, Princess of Wales. Princess Kate confirmed in a video released through the official royal social media pages that the abdominal surgery she underwent in January revealed she has cancer—and she's been undergoing chemotherapy.

In the video, the first official one she's appeared in since Christmas, the Princess took the opportunity to "say thank you personally for all the wonderful messages of support and for your understanding whilst I've been recovering from surgery. It has been an incredibly tough couple of months for our entire family, but I've had a fantastic medical team who have taken great care of me, for which I am so grateful."

Princess Kate went on to confirm her devastating prognosis. "In January, I underwent major abdominal surgery in London, and at the time it was thought that my condition was non-cancerous. The surgery was successful. However, tests after the operation found cancer had been present. My medical team therefore advised that I should undergo a course of preventative chemotherapy, and I'm now in the early stages of that treatment."

This revelation comes on the heels of intense scrutiny the Princess faced during her absence from the public eye. Until a March 18 trip to the market, the Princess hadn’t been seen out in public since Christmas Day (except for a few quick shots of her riding in the car on March 4 and March 11) and the palace hadn't given any updates on her recovery.

Confusion mounted on March 10 when Kensington Palace released the now infamously manipulated photo of the Princess of Wales looking happy and healthy with her three children—Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis in honor of UK Mother's Day. Instead of giving the public comfort that the Princess was okay, it raised even more questions and rumors—and then multiple major photo agencies, including the Associated Press and Reuters, issued a kill notice for it because they determined it was “manipulated.”

Things got more suspicious the very next day when Princess Kate herself posted an apology via the Prince and Princess of Wales' X account blaming the confusion on her being an “amateur” photographer who “occasionally experiments with editing.”

In my gut, I knew something wasn't right. In fact, I was positive something was horribly wrong. This is one time I wish my intuition had been off its game.

Back in January when the Princess' surgery was announced, I was curious but not consumed by the news. The Royal Family just isn’t my thing. I don’t watch The Crown, I didn’t read Prince Harry’s tell-all Spare, and I’ve never set my alarm for the crack of dawn to watch one of their “fairytale” weddings. But as speculation grew that Kate was “missing” post-surgery, my interest started piquing. I may not be a Royal Watcher but I’m a sucker for a good pop culture conspiracy theory. 

When the Mother's Day photo came across my social media feed, I felt like the Palace was trying to gaslight the world, making us think it was crazy anyone ever doubted Kate’s whereabouts. The photo caption might as well have read: Are you happy now? Here’s Kate all smiles and looking healthy—carry on and pretend we never told you she underwent surgery.

Yet, my view of the situation changed once Kate joined the conversation. It became crystal clear that these “conspiracy theories” and botched “cover-ups” were not to hide Kate’s condition. They were to help a mother desperately try to protect her children. Now the video revelation of the Princess' cancer diagnosis confirms my thoughts.

"This, of course, came as a huge shock, and William and I have been doing everything we can to process and manage this privately for the sake of our young family. As you can imagine, this has taken time. It has taken me time to recover from major surgery in order to start my treatment, but, most importantly, it has taken us time to explain everything to George, Charlotte, and Louis in a way that's appropriate for them and to reassure them that I'm going to be okay," Princess Kate says in the video.

This article is written from the perspective of the writer and doesn't necessarily reflect the views of Parents.

When a Parent Becomes the Patient

One of the worst things for a parent to experience is when your child has a health crisis. But what happens when the tables are turned and you, the parent, have your own health crisis to manage? There’s a layer of stress, anxiety, and fear that is nearly impossible to fathom.

You have to take care of yourself and manage your own emotions—while appearing strong for your kids. Sometimes the only way to do that is by hiding what is wrong from your kids and others in your circle.

It was obvious that Princess Kate's planned abdominal surgery was quite serious, already requiring her to step away from her public duties. She likely had many doctor appointments and pre-op treatments. She was likely bombarded with information about the risks of undergoing anesthesia, the possible complications that could arise, and the recovery plan.

But then to discover that she had cancer and needed to begin chemotherapy was certainly another gut punch, requiring preparation, research, planning, time to fall apart, and acceptance of all possible outcomes.

While being a member of the Royal Family leaves the Princess with very little privacy, she is still a human being and a mother. I am now certain that the “hiding out” and the “decoy” photo was her attempt to take whatever privacy she could get.

She’s not in a position to shield her children from the health issues she’s experiencing but I can’t blame her for trying to soften the public perception—even if it initially failed—to ease her children’s worries.

How I Identify With Princess Kate

When my daughter was 2 years old, I too underwent abdominal surgery and I too kept it (mostly) a secret. I had weight loss surgery (the gastric sleeve) which I elected to do on my own—though it was medically necessary. In fact, I decided to go through with it because of my daughter. My main motivation was to live a longer and healthier life for her.

Even so, the guilt was crushing. In the weeks leading up to my surgery, I had many pre-op appointments in addition to following a very strict liquid diet that made me cranky and foggy. My doctors assured me this procedure was routine and safe yet in the same breath, they reminded me that I was still undergoing anesthesia, being cut open, and needed to understand all the risks involved.

It weighed heavily on my heart that if anything went wrong, it would directly affect my daughter. I felt guilty and confused. I beat myself up for being so weak around food and lamented my incredibly slow metabolism. But, I knew that not going through with the surgery put both me and my daughter in danger. Without my weight at a healthy place, I was at risk for heart disease and other chronic conditions that would affect the quality of both our lives.

Because my daughter was so young, there was no point in explaining where I was going the morning I checked into the hospital for a two-night stay. She had her grandparents to cater to her every whim while my husband stayed by my side. She was too young to pick up on anything being “wrong” or feeling “off” with mommy.

I decided not to tell anyone (outside of immediate family and a few close friends) that I was undergoing weight loss surgery. I was embarrassed and afraid of judgment. I thought by keeping it quiet, my daughter wouldn’t notice post-surgery why I was so tired or ask why my meals consisted of just protein shakes. If people didn’t know, then my daughter couldn't accidentally overhear conversations about it.

I didn’t want my daughter to unnecessarily worry as she got older that she would need surgery if her weight ever became dangerously high like mine. I didn’t want troubling thoughts put in her head that never would have been there if I hadn’t opted to have surgery. Ultimately, my secrecy was protection for my daughter.

About three months after my surgery, I was able to cross my legs when I sat on the floor to play. I could take my daughter to the playground without fear of getting stuck on the slide. We could dance at music class without me feeling as winded as if we had taken a cardio class. I didn’t have to explain anything to anyone, I could take comfort in knowing my surgery worked—not because I lost weight but because I was finally able to enjoy spending time with my daughter.

In Princess Kate's video message, I saw a woman who appeared tired and defeated. I don't think she had any intention of announcing to the world at this moment that she's undergoing cancer treatment. The world's intense curiosity and probing forced her to make a public statement when I'm sure the last thing she felt like doing was getting out of her bed or pajamas.

Kensington Palace told the world back in January that it would take until after Easter for the Princess to resume her royal duties. I'm sure she was counting on that time and privacy—and then with a cancer diagnosis—desperately needed it too.

Let's take a step back and realize this video does not signal Princess Kate's return to the public eye. I believe she was backed into a corner, forced to make this announcement because the crushing public curiosity and scrutiny had become detrimental to her, Prince William and their children. As parents, can we make a pact to let her go through treatment and recovery from here on out in peace? Let's do that for the wellbeing of Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis!

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