Humor: What your morning beverage reveals about your managment style
What's in your cup?
You are what you eat. Or, in this case, you run a workplace how you drink. Tell me the kind of beverage you enjoy each morning, and I'll tell you the kind of boss you are.
Black Coffee
No excuses, no nonsense, that's your motto. With a forever percolating coffee pot, you don't waste time, cutting out employees who don't prove their worth without regret or emotion. You don't do emotion. You do business.
Herbal Tea
There is no rushing you. It might take weeks to get something done, but you consider all sides of an issue before deciding. You're that rare boss who reads every document you've been sent. The office is relaxed. Too relaxed. Some would even say it is unproductive.
Yet you don't mind, as you prefer the calm pace, believing it benefits one's overall wellness. And in truth, everyone in your office is calm because they are chilling on their phones while you figure out which tasks to delegate.
Black tea
You want to be chill. However, whenever you say, "No worries," you're secretly screaming on the inside with worries. Deadlines matter! How you look to your supervisor matters! You want others to perform for you as well as you are expected to perform for your bosses, never mind that they don't get paid enough to care.
Sipping your black tea, you stew and plot to make those you deem "lazy" miserable so they quit on their own accord. Thus, you won't be the bad guy.
Cold-pressed vegetable juice
You are obsessed with the next craze that promises to maximize your office's productivity. One week, you have daily meetings. The following week, you let employees work from home. If your favorite CEO suggests it, you will try it.
As a result, you do achieve results, but your workers are stressed and anxious due to the lack of structure and unclear rules. Did I mention the turnover rate is very high?
Hot Lemon Water
You love control. Like your digestive system, you expect your employees to get to work immediately every morning. Crisp and clear, you don't mince words when keeping the workplace running like a fancy watch. Some might call you sour since you don't grant smiles easily, but they can't help but respect you for your transparency.
Milk
You believe in doing things the old-fashioned way. Your boss taught you how to manage a business, and that's how you do it. Everything is running smoothly, and while you're not ahead of the curve when it comes to tech, you run a business fortified with the real vitamin D. Dedication.
Soda/ energy drink
Practically fizzing with ideas, you constantly offer suggestions, changes, and improvements to everyone around you. Those around the office smile but wish you'd let them focus on a deadline. While many of your ideas are good, there can be too much of a good thing. You have to relax and take a deep breath before you burst. Try yoga.
Orange tropical smoothie
There are many issues in the office you choose to avoid. Like being in denial about the health benefits of your orange sugar-loaded smoothie, you refuse to see the writing on the wall. Instead, you paste on a perky front, as addicting as citrus, slapping a bandaid on wounds that need stitches.
At some point, there will be hell to pay when someone points out that the emperor is drinking a milkshake and not achieving sales growth, but that's another day. Right now, enjoy the creamy goodness of a cushy salary and benefits because those days, like your habit for expensive smoothies, are numbered.
Alternative milk
In your humble opinion, an open office is the only kind of office worth having. Sure, you are the boss in the literal sense. But really, you believe everyone is the boss, even though you don't show it through paychecks. You know your team working as a cohesive unit without boundaries allows your workplace to function.
Some might say you're trying too hard, but you want the workers to love and accept you so they don't jump ship and run to a trendier company.
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