Taraji P. Henson Is Encouraging Kids To Embrace Their Quirkiness in Debut Children’s Book

The actress is teaching important lessons through 'You Can Be a Good Friend (No Matter What!).'

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Taraji P. Henson is encouraging quirky kids everywhere to be themselves with her debut children’s book, You Can Be a Good Friend (No Matter What!). It can pay off, as the Golden Globe winner knows well herself.

“I was a very rambunctious child, full of energy. My father would pay me to be quiet at five minute increments,” she jokes. “I danced to my own beat and people thought it was off beat. It was just off of their beat.”

Thankfully, Henson had a circle of friends who encouraged her to be her creative self. Staying true to who she was has helped her build a successful acting career with notable roles in films such as The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Hidden Figures, and more recently, The Color Purple.

Self-confidence is a big theme in her newly-released book. Written for ages 4 to 8 and illustrated by Paul Kellam, the story focuses on a young girl named Lil TJ who is getting ready for her first day of school. She tells her Grandma Patsy that she’s going to make a “million friends,” to which Grandma Patsy reminds her that “friendships take time.” Lil TJ heads into school and ends up getting bullied by a classmate for her loud voice, drawing, and big personality.

In order to avoid being bullied, Lil TJ tones down who she is. But with a little encouragement from Grandma Patsy, Lil TJ ultimately finds the strength to let her personality shine once again.

Henson, a former substitute teacher, wants kids to know how important their own voice is. “I was a girl from the hood,” she says, of her childhood in Washington D.C. “When you’re from the hood, you’re supposed to look a certain way—well I didn’t. I was the quirky girl in the hood."

She adds, "[Kids] should never lessen their voice because one is louder than theirs.”

The lessons in the book don’t end there.

Positive Influences

The book reflects on Henson’s positive relationship with her own grandmother, Patsie Ballard, now 100, whom she dedicates the book to. Henson says she still seeks her advice. “I’m just so grateful to still be able to call on my grandma,” she says. “I want her to get all her flowers, while she is still alive to receive them.”

Grandma Patsy’s presence in the book highlights the importance of positive influences in children’s lives. “You have to have some voice of wisdom in your life,” Henson notes.

Navigating Friendships

Learning how to make friends and deal with varying personalities is another big theme. Henson says parents can help guide their kids through friendships, but it’s important to let them learn on their own. That’s the approach she took with her own son, now 30.

“I would say my piece and then I would let him figure it out because I can't make his choices for him,” she says. “I'm just there to shepherd; that's literally all we're supposed to do as parents—shepherd them.” 

Fostering Mental Health

Throughout the book, Lil TJ talks about feeling nervous, especially after experiencing bullying. The connection to mental health is important for Henson, a mental health advocate, who founded the Boris L. Henson Foundation in 2018 to improve access to mental health services for Black communities.

“It’s a learning process for the Black community,” she says. “It's new to a lot of us because we've never really talked about it. I didn't really talk about or start dealing with my mental health on a real serious level until later on in life—I was 40 something.”

Research shows only 1 in 3 Black people who need mental health services receive them. Lack of access, socioeconomic disparities, stigma, and discrimination in health care are all barriers to treatment.

But Henson’s goal is to normalize seeking support when it's needed. "Instead of trying to grind and push through and be a strong Black man or strong Black woman or Black girl magic, this and that,” she says. “That stuff dehumanizes us.”

"Whatever makes you different, it's your superpower. And when you embrace it, trust me, everybody else will—you will give them no choice."

Taraji P. Henson

Learning From Experience

The Empire star understands firsthand how important getting help can be when she and her son fell on taxing times. They had to work through the grief of her son's father being murdered when the boy was just 9. Then, two years later, Henson’s father passed away. Not having male figures for her son to look up to weighed heavily on Henson.

“I’m a woman. What kind of advice can I give? I'm not a Black man. I don't walk in those shoes,” says Henson. “I can empathize with a Black man, I can try to understand, just like him trying to understand me and what a Black woman goes through. I try to advise, but really, am I equipped?”

Ultimately, says Henson, “We had to find therapy together."

Her personal experience helped open her eyes to the what needs to change around mental health. She’s making strides through her organization with wellness pods established at Alabama State University and Hampton University, with more universities to come, in partnership with Kate Spade. Through these services, students can find free mental health therapy, workshops, as well as activities like yoga and meditation.

Pointing out how managing school work, a social life, and possibly a job while going through college can be a lot for young students, Henson asks, “How do these kids navigate that? These pods and the feedback that we're getting from the student body is just mind-blowing.”

As students find their way, Henson wants them to be their own hero and learn to love every unconventional part about themselves, just like Lil TJ.

“Whatever makes you different, it's your superpower,” she says. “And when you embrace it, trust me, everybody else will—you will give them no choice.”

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