Things Couples Who Hate Valentine’s Day Get
Whether you've been dating for a while now and the novelty of Valentine's Day has worn off, or are just not the "romantic" types and never will be, this holiday can inevitably make you feel like you're forced to celebrate your love in the most mainstream, over-the-top way imaginable. Here are 10 things couples who are so over Valentine's Day totally get:
1. You feel tacky for celebrating at all. No matter how you approach Valentine's Day, it just feels like you're trying too hard. You either end up spending your weekly grocery budget on fancy food, or you feel pretentious for actively not celebrating. It's always a lose-lose!
2. You never know what to wear. Dressing up doesn’t really feel like you, but throwing on your usual lumpy sweater with an inconspicuous soup stain you scrubbed off in the sink also feels wrong. You're doomed from the start.
3. You feel pressured to be cheesily romantic. Your usual sass exchanges and fart jokes feel so painfully out of place when you’re at a bar surrounded by 12 couples gazing lovingly into each others’ eyes.
4. You get annoyed at carrying flowers everywhere for the rest of the night. Even more annoying: having to now take care of a bunch of roses for a week until they inevitably wither on day three (making you immediately assume it’s a grim metaphor for this relationship).
5. You have to go out into whatever hellish weather Mid-February serves you. Why can't Valentine's Day be in June??????
6. You want to go to whatever fun thing your single friends are doing. Single people know how to do Valentine’s Day right, and it’s usually a party you wish you were at instead of a stiff French restaurant. Your couple selfie won’t make anyone jealous when they throw a single ladies rom com movie night complete with a chocolate fountain.
7. You feel like you A.) have to have sex and B.) have to have THE BEST sex. It's a Wednesday. You're more likely to fall asleep after two glasses of wine than simultaneously orgasm on a bed of rose petals.
8. You question whether you did “enough”. A quick scroll through Instagram while your boyfriend’s in the bathroom is enough to ruin your night when you see people’s prix-fixe dinners and engagement ring pics.
9. You lowkey wonder if you’ll break up in March if you have even the slightest of conflicts on V-Day. The knowledge of so many people slogging through a relationship they’re secretly not into anymore for the sake of Valentine’s Day can strike fear into even the most stable of couples. Bickering over dessert on the most romantic holiday of the year = RIP your relationship!
10. You feel like you’re just like every other couple if you like some parts of it. Admitting that you kind of enjoy getting chocolates and a nice card before going HAM on some food makes you feel like a carbon copy of every other couple doing the exact same thing. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day, where you can resume living your best, non-commercial-holiday-celebrating life.
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