This is why Pride is important

I grew up in southwest Michigan, just north of Kalamazoo. Plainwell isn’t all that different from any other small, tight-knit community in Michigan.

When I was growing up in the ‘80s and ‘90s, it wasn’t uncommon to have the same friends from kindergarten through high school. Many of my classmates’ dads worked at the local paper mill. During the hot days of summer, the smell of manure from the nearby farms would settle over the town. Each day at noon, the fire hall siren would ring. Everyone knew everyone.

There’s something special about growing up in a community like Plainwell. When I visit, I love to see favorite businesses from my youth mixed with new ones. I love that familiar faces still greet me wherever I go. I loved my childhood.

But small towns can also harbor dark secrets. Those who grow up in small towns know that life can be hard for people who are different. Kids and adults alike can be cruel when confronted with lifestyles and differences they don’t understand. And because of that, many people who grow up in small towns aren’t comfortable being themselves.

Karen and I met in elementary school through soccer. We became close friends in middle school. We spent our high school years at soccer camps and tournaments, had slumber parties and talked about what we wanted to do and who we wanted to be when we got older.

Karen looked and acted just like any other kid growing up in Plainwell. She dated boys and a year after we graduated high school, she got pregnant. She went on to marry the man who would father her three children.

But Karen had a secret. She had known for years she was attracted to women, but growing up in a small town she felt she had to keep that secret to herself for fear of being shunned and ridiculed just because of who she is.

“I couldn’t tell anyone,” she told me recently when we chatted on the phone. “You remember what it was like back then. If anyone was different in any way they get made fun of and talked about by the whole town.”

“It was so hard,” she said.

Listening to her and thinking back to that time brought me to tears. To hear someone you love talk about how they were scared of just being themselves isn’t easy.

Karen’s kids are now grown. She and her husband have been divorced for nearly 20 years. She says she has no regrets and that she will always love her ex-husband — they have a wonderful relationship to this day. She’s incredibly proud of her three beautiful children and even has a grandchild on the way.

Now, several years removed from our hometown, Karen no longer has to keep secrets. She and her wife Amanda will celebrate their seventh wedding anniversary in August. Karen is happy, yet it took her years and moving away from our small town to finally get to a place where she can be comfortable with who she is.

June is Pride Month, 30 days dedicated to the celebration and commemoration of those who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. Those in the LGBTQ+ community and its allies wave flags, sport rainbow clothing and show support for one another. It’s a reminder that no two people, nor any two families are the same.

Each year I hear people say things like, “Well, why isn’t there a month for straight people?” The answer is simple: Because straight people have never had to fight for the same rights as those in the LGBTQ+ community. Straight people don’t have to fight for the right to marry the person they love or fight to have the same rights as everyone else. Those who celebrate the month aren’t fighting for extra rights, they just want the same rights as their straight counterparts. Nobody chooses to be gay. Find me a straight person who has been ridiculed and mocked just because of who they love.

So if you’re still wondering why Pride is important, it’s for people like Karen. It’s for all those kids who are growing up, being told they can be whatever and whoever they want, yet they know if they came forward and say they are gay, bisexual or transgender, they’ll be mocked and ridiculed. It’s for those people you know and love who still aren’t ready to face the world and be themselves.

Because there’s a whole lot of people out there just like Karen.

Rachel Brougham is the former assistant editor of the Petoskey News-Review. You can email her at racheldbrougham@gmail.com.

This article originally appeared on South Bend Tribune: This is why Pride month is important.