Wife pushes back to getting couples’ mail addressed only to husband: ‘I still have a name’
While the concept and tradition of marriage are alive and well, some people have decided to move away from the idea that the woman must take the man’s last name — as shown by one woman’s TikTok.
Brenna Lynn (@brennatalkstoomuch) recently posted a video about how it feels to get mail meant for her and her husband, but only addressed with his names.
“That awkward moment when you get a piece of mail addressed to Mr. and Mrs. ‘your husbands first and last name’. Number one, I didn’t take his first name. I still have a name,” she said in her video. “Not only is that not my last name, but it’s also no longer his last name. We both changed our last names to something new that represents both of us.”
Commenters mirrored Lynn’s confusion, and many also wanted new terms to address couples, wondering why people prioritized the man’s name.
“On my wedding invites I did mrs and Mr and put the wives name just for some spice,” replied @kfarr20.
“My mom writes ‘return to sender’ on the front & on the back writes ‘I am not my husband’s property & will be addressed separately,’” replied @endipatriarchy.
What Lynn and her husband did is actually becoming a more common practice. According to CNN, about 20% to 30% of women keep their last names when marrying. Furthermore, in 2020, The New York Times reported how the practice of generating a new name for both parties is also increasing.
This is especially true for LGBTQ couples who don’t subscribe to traditional heteronormative marriage traditions. According to theknot.com, a majority of LGBTQ couples don’t settle on one partner’s last name. That process can include merging existing last names or coming up with a new one altogether.
On top of making a stand, people also may keep their own last name simply for convenience. The process to change one’s last name can be tedious as there are several places in which paperwork would have to be updated, such as bank records, employee documents and medical records.
From Lynn’s video, it’s clear that there are other ways to handle names in marriages besides the primary option of taking your partner’s name.
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